Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month: The Grief We Don’t Speak Of

October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month.

I want to share something I’ve carried quietly, because I know many of you may have carried it too.

My cycle runs like clockwork. So when my period is late, even by a few days, it’s a big deal. And when I was hoping for pregnancy, those days felt like suspended breath. My mind would race ahead into possibility - pregnancy announcements, the swell of a belly, imagining the life of the little one who might be on the way.

Logic told me it was too soon. But hearts don’t follow logic.

And when the bleeding began, it was brushed aside as “just a late period.” No ceremony, no acknowledgement. But inside, I had already formed a bond. I had already started dreaming. And so the grief came - real, sharp, and valid.

Early pregnancy loss is often dismissed, silenced, or hidden. Yet the emotional attachment can begin instantly. The pain of this loss deserves presence, not minimisation.

I have been fortunate not to lose a baby later in pregnancy or at birth. And yet, even as I write this, I notice the temptation to diminish my own grief because “others have it worse.”

But grief is not a competition.

It is love, with nowhere to go.

For those who have lost babies - in the earliest days, in pregnancy, at birth, or after - I see you. Your grief is real. Your love is valid. And you do not have to carry it alone.

This month, I found myself turning to art as a way of tending this grief - giving it colour, shape, and space outside of my body. This is what came through my hands as I let myself feel:

Ritual and creativity can be anchors when words are not enough. They help us to honour both the love and the loss, and to create spaces where grief can be witnessed.

If you are carrying the grief of baby loss - whether fresh or decades old - may you know your grief is worthy of tending. May you feel seen, and may you find your own ways, gentle or bold, to honour the love that remains.