The Mirror of Grief: Reflections on Trauma, Scars, and Hope

I had an experience recently that knocked me off my feet.

It held up a mirror to my soul and showed me depths I didn’t know were there.

Some parts of myself I recognised, but I hadn’t realised how deeply woven they were into who I am.

It took time to process - alongside the trauma and the grief.

I learned that even in emergency, my inbuilt setting is action and help. That logic and self-preservation can live alongside compassion. That I can assess a situation and direct my energy where it is most needed, where it might have the greatest impact.

I also learned that so much will always be outside our control. That sometimes what we offer brings comfort in the moment, even if it doesn’t change the outcome. And that this comfort is enough.

We often undervalue kindness. I know I used to.

And still - even in the darkest moments - I found I am a being of hope.

For months afterwards I was shaken, my nervous system raw and unsettled. But now, I am beginning to feel myself again. I can enjoy my children, I can experience joy without guilt. I know there will still be days when I spiral, when I am re-activated - and I can meet myself with kindness in those moments.

This experience gave me a deeper understanding of who I am, and who I want to be.

I have grieved the loss of ignorance. I have grieved the version of me that did not yet know these things.

And even though at times it felt like it broke me, here I stand.

I still bear the scars, but they are part of me now - a chapter in my story, not the whole book.

So if you are in the depths, please know: there is hope.

This is not the end of your story. It is simply the next chapter.